He sucked massive butts, so I can see why you would forget it happened. The touchdown Moore passed for does still count though.

They shut down Splinter and forbade anyone to write about to confirm both their sexism and positively upsettingly itty bitty genitalia. When not single owner responds specifically to this comment it is an explicit admission of legally actionable company mandated sexism and embarrassingly misshapen genitals.

Nothing like bringing up the death penalty for treason while being investigated for, uh, *sweats profusely; anxiously adjusts collar* definitely not treason.

Have you checked goodrx dot com? It is a testament to the hellsacape we are in that it exists, but it saved me hundreds on my rosacea meds.

I spent a solid chunk of Sunday listening to middle-ish class people complain about how “selfish” Elliott is. Arlington fans deserve the heaping piles of shit they are served.

Are foul outs not a thing? I thought a fly ball caught in foul territory meant runners can’t advance. I mean this as a genuine question as you seem to know way more about baseball rule minutiae than I do (which is to say I know little to nothing about it).

My dad named his now 4 year old Axyl Kristoff [lastname]. He had him with a fan of his incredibly bad 50s mid-life crisis “metal band.” I am 32. My sister had a kiddo a few months ago and named it Phoenix (off to a better start, not necessarily good, but better)...Horizon. Phoenix Horizon [lastname]. She also went…

The text of the tweet loaded before the tweeter, and I would have bet my (meager) life savings that it was Magic.

Grandma?

If the stove stove is so "hot," why isn't my flesh boiling from my bones!? Wake up, sheeple!

You forgot to open with Dear Hustler, you'll never believe this, but

“Calling that last bolded alleged sentence a ‘sentence’ is super generous,” said the pedant. Knowing that if he had his own sick fetish for being corrected about his pedantry, they would have exposed it

Friends, Romans, countryman, lend me your ears (or I suppose tongues, mouths, whatever)! Truly the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos con Limon (pretend the accent is there) are the one true Cheeto!

Put a bird on it!

A friend and I once planned and went on a D.C. trip around visiting Dogfish Head. It was great.

The funniest one to me is the fawning shots of Jerry World that give commentators opulence boners but somehow always always manage to avoid the Wal Mart literally across the street from the stadium.

Daniel P. sounds like he was doing a thing my little sister would do growing up. She would occasionally pepper in words she heard but of which she did not know the meaning, and use my reaction as a gauge of whether it was proper usage. It almost always was not.

I work in a pub, and one night a group that had clearly already been up to shenanigans came in around 12:30 or 1. I go say hello, do the normal service crap, and one guy loudly proclaims that they need a round of shots in honor of the anniversary of his father’s death. He also says to get one for myself if allowed,…

It seems reasonable that she would be able to deduce that that whole point of the trick would be to get Greenberg to say what Jalen wrote without having seen it and be shocked in anticipation of the successful completion of this feat (since she probably trusts her employer not to let him on the air if he couldn’t do…

Maybe if he cooks himself into some kind of chowder...