Kind of like the Cuyahoga River!

WHY ARE THEY RAPEY?!!?!?

What's even sadder is that he'll earn more in a year or two of bashing his brains out than he will in a lifetime of teaching math to kids.

"they are the sons and daughters of Thomas Jefferson"

Goddamnit, THANK YOU. Madonna is the musical equivalent of the dude who played football in high school and still talks about it, even though he's 42 and sells renter's insurance in Reno now.

Do NOT love your job. It will never return the favor.

Gigantic truth bomb here, and one of the better work-related pieces I've ever seen on Lifehacker.

that fucking hair.

"What else is the price based mostly on then?"

Also slated to be at the combine, with equal chances of getting signed:

I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, but how did you not divorce him when you caught him with child porn?

Tom Landry is rolling over in his grave. This is his son right?

I would disagree with the love and paying attention part. You can be the most attentive husband in the world and not have a clue about jewelry. I completely understand the romance part, but there are ways to overcome that. We shopped for her ring and purchased it together, but we had it made, so I was able to…

No, no, no. If you have had the conversation about getting married (which you should, don't just ask out of the blue), ask her what she likes. It ensures that 1) she says yes and 2) she gets what she wants. Why disappoint her?

I believe the distinguished chairman of the Urban Economic Studies Department at Princeton said it best. According to T. Shakur, PhD, "Yeah, Inglewood, Inglewood always up to no good."

But they've got new hats!!!

I don't get it. Pole dancers and escorts deserve to be treated like shit? That girl was a stripper once so she should never be respected again? Mmmmk....

When I was a kid in elementary school I did NFL Valentines with photos of players on them for my classroom every year. Really looked forward to it, because it was kind of a way for me to share my love of collecting football cards with the rest of my classmates.

Marry an orphan. Problem solved.