“I never see anybody on TV.”

I’d love to poke holes in his analogy but it’d be of no value.

Good. To his point about racism in hockey:

I didn’t know you were a deadspin commenter, dad!

I appreciate your bravery. This a probably a fetish worthy of evaluation by a mental health professional.

Oh the sums I would’ve paid for the round to have lasted long enough for Trebek to read the $800 and $1000 answers.

Such a shame. He was really looking forward to having WH staff lower the baskets to 6' so he could show the Warriors all of his cool slam dunk moves.

Pretty sure that was Lord Mountbatten’s nickname too.

Wait till you hear what they’re planning to do to Big Ben.

But only because she thinks they’re named for the car. You know, “JAG-yew-err”

This is offensive to the Ravens fans who think she’s a SJW for letting Harry date a woman of mixed heritage.

Whatever happened to Michele “Crazier Sarah Palin” Bachmann?

That dog combines the on-ball evasiveness of Messi and the interview manners of Mourinho.

Really thought it’d be:

I refuse to judge its relative fragility until I see its navicular bones.

I had no idea who this guy was. Apparently he organized a baseball tournament while serving in North Africa in WWII (bolded for emphasis):

Of course Joe West and his sensitive little heart were involved in this.

If that’s not a euphemism then I have a colorful imagination.

This Steve Smith is most notable for that time I talked myself into believing that the Eagles had gotten a steal when they signed him away from the Giants. He played one season and was cut.

Skipper: Listen, Jemele. We’re not asking much. Why can’t you just be more like Darren? (to Darren) Would you mind teaching Jemele about your style of reporting?