...to make little money playing basketball for a mediocre club in front of few people.

Ugh now I can’t stop hearing “Giancarlo” shouted at me in a thick NY accent.

Leslie Knope, is that you?

That’s funny, because some Cardinals fans wish they could still legally own Stanton.

I’m picturing an Odd Couple-style sitcom with Okafor as the neat freak and Embiid as the lovable slob who won’t stop playing with Okafor’s ships-in-bottles and accidentally dropping them.

I think the Delaware Fibonaccis could work as a G-League name. Their next iteration will be the sum of their previous ones! Plus you get bonus lines like:

They wanted him to sit in the car so he could practice for the role he plays during Sixers games.

 the road between Philadephia and Newark 

“Hey Jimi! It’s your cousin, Marvin. Marvin Hendrix. Remember that new sound you were looking for? Well listen to this!”

Looks like the Lions’ post-TD pyrotechnics crew forgot where the team played again.

Assistant to the regional manager.

+1 for username/comment synergy

You failed to disclose your receipt of footwear.

How dare you use Peterman’s performance to besmirch the good name of fart clouds!

Emma, I’m not sure you understand how blackmail works.

He knows what he’s talking about. He’s witnessed collapses from 3 floors up to 1.

He looks like he lived every day of those 15 years to the fullest. Giving mine extra treats tonight in his honor.

“Jacksonville circles” is term used by some mathematicians to describe more than one of these:

If I had a nickel...

Meanwhile, participants in the Delhi Rock and Roll Marathon were disappointed to learn there would be no noise pollution.