What the Fagerstrom is up with that name???

Left-handed batting Kendry + right-handed batting Kendry = Kendrys

UFC = desperate

Yes, I was making a joke. But seriously, his dad is a prop, and an annoying one at that.

"We largely ignore it in regular society..."

YOU largely ignore it. Don't speak for the rest of us.

Because Ray Rice knocked a woman unconscious in an elevator. Did you not hear about that part?

I paid way too much for a bad BJ once.

Why haven't they done a damn thing about his dad???? For fuck's sake send that man back to Chelsea Lately.

When questioned by police at the scene Oden stated, "FEE FI FO FUM".

Bless you.

Hunter Pence throws a baseball as if his elbow is stapled to his hip.

Personally, I would never negotiate with a man wearing that suit.

"...I bbelieve no one should touch anyone period." Speaking of not having balls.

You must be a small man. Did your ex girlfriend hurt you? If so, I'm sorry.

So you're waiting for the day when you can get in bar fights with women and high five your bros after? Because that's not what equality is all about. Hate to burst your bubble.

"I've been hit and dumped the one hitting me..."

Someone should make a menstrual joke about Jeffrey. I'd do it but I don't want to piss her off.

You must hate cops. Had the fat, insecure cop punched the non-aggressive drunk bro without provocation we would have yet another viral video of a cop overreacting and abusing his power. This, in turn, would only fuel anti-cop sentiment and would no doubt result in a slam dunk settlement for drunk bro. Way to think…

That suit Dungy is wearing better not have blended fabrics!