So you're waiting for the day when you can get in bar fights with women and high five your bros after? Because that's not what equality is all about. Hate to burst your bubble.

"I've been hit and dumped the one hitting me..."

Someone should make a menstrual joke about Jeffrey. I'd do it but I don't want to piss her off.

You must hate cops. Had the fat, insecure cop punched the non-aggressive drunk bro without provocation we would have yet another viral video of a cop overreacting and abusing his power. This, in turn, would only fuel anti-cop sentiment and would no doubt result in a slam dunk settlement for drunk bro. Way to think…

That suit Dungy is wearing better not have blended fabrics!

Please go on about how you live your life precisely to the word of the bible. No deviations or comprises at all. Modernity and advancement in science and the understanding of how the world actually works has had no impact on your life. Please, tell us how you fictional book is 100% accurate and walk us through a day…

Homosexual behavior exists in animals other than humans, are those animals not part of nature? Also, your god - which I can only assume is Zeus - created everything, including homosexuals, but "he" probably gets a hardon by contradicting himself. "He" probably also got off on the founding fathers of America owning and…

"What happens to McMahon's limo is McMahon's responsibility." - Vladimir Putin

You can't beat it, you can only hope to contain it.

If I were the male equivalent of Cleveland I would be stoked about landing any piece of ass. Beggers can't be choosers.

That greed you're complaining about exists in order to pay for the most expensive roster in the major leagues. You boycotting Dodger stadium will do nothing because the product is too good. This isn't the shitty McCourt Dodgers. Now that the team is rolling I'm guessing that DirecTV and the other cable providers will…

Suarez has no issues with being offensive. He seems to make a good living that way.

Big Paraguay! God dammit I'm dying right now. Bravo. Holy shit.

And to answer your question, yes. Everyone in Bakersfield has a lawn. If by lawn you mean miserable existence. Everyone in Bakersfield has one of those.

I elbowed a chick once, she loved it. Had to lotion up first though.

At least it was intentional!

Those places look pretty rad and they seem to have all of the things I look for in a timeshare community:

Still better than Bakersfield.

Throw in the towel, bud.

A poignant reminder why we need to keep a close eye on those Germans.