5 years from now, she’ll be penning her auto-biography, “Are you there Lord, It’s Me, Lorde.”

It sucks to be a tea cozy sponsor right now.

My dadbod looks awesome in mom jeans.

I want to make a law that everything in the world (cups, plates, cookware, pets, and children) must be dishwasher safe. If you aren’t dishwasher safe, you don’t matter.

I dislike articles that feel the need to explain why something IS or ISN'T funny/art.

The problem with choice is that it can be crippling. I once spent 20 minutes trying to pick the best toilet paper at target.

I wonder why.

Humiliated?

what-horrible-things-did-we-do-to-our-penises-last-year

We use MSG but that's the least of your worries.

This song jumped the shark.

So the bubble burst?

She can't even . . .

A teenager tripped over one of the protesters on her way to Wet Seal. She nearly spilled her bubble tea. #neveragain.

I think you are onto something. I mean if he woke up speaking Basque I'd be totally impressed.

Even as a man, hiking alone can be a little scary. I came across a couple of backwoods dudes once and was pretty sure I was going to have my Deliverance moment.

Well said.

No. It's somebody desperately trying to find meaning in yet another rap album that has very little to say.

"It literally chipped off a tip of my nose," said Benvenuto, using tissues to stanch the blood. "It took off part of my nose and cut me here, right under my chin.... "

But did he kiss the person next to him or not?

Vice City is still my favorite game of all time.