I went to the wilderness to rekindle my love of recirculated air, hot showers, and sleeping bug free.

That's how Dad did it. That's how America does it.

Hell yeah I won't be going out on Black Friday because of Ferguson . . . and Amazon.

Uggs in Spring or Summer or Winter or Fall.

Off topic but my favorite photos are the ones where the subject has his/her back to the camera. So much more interesting.

I'm sorry but this week Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko is throwing MAJOR SHADE on the Philae Lander.

Why does she look like a BRATZ doll?

Honestly, I'd be a little cranky too if I was forced to go to Newark.

I really like Lorde. I wish there were more singers like her. That said, listening to one of her songs, "It drives you crazy, getting old." Screw you, Lorde. You just barely got old enough to get in line for this roller coaster. So stop telling everyone how bad it is.

I would love to see a princess with peanut allergies.

Basic Engagement Rule: don't spend 10k on a ring.

I get the not hugging thing but you can't give a high five, Grace? No knuckles? You can't even blow it up? WTF? Life is going to be hard for you.

The non-descript ladies dodged a bullet.

I never got to Z. I ran out of money. Thanks for opening up old wounds.

Fuck that shit. Do you know how many unnecessary groceries I had to buy just get a partial Funk & Wagnalls encyclopedia set. They can have our bombs but they will have to rip my 100 lbs encyclopedia set from my cold, dead fingers.

This is possibly the dumbest thing I have read today.

Fact-check: Yep.

Crap. It just dawned on me that I first met all of my black friends at a 7-11.

*Furiously dials Mom's number*

I mean if you two CRAZY kids can't make it, what chance do any of us have?

Am I alone in thinking this sounds like "Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie?

The problem is she's forgetting her audience, her tweenage audience who is screaming for more songs about poverty, injustice, and I can't even.