Smile, Kyle! Smile, motherfucker.  You’re on candid camera.

Meanwhile, I’m over here on Mother Abigail’s porch in Hemingford Home. She still makes her own bread and she’s 108. She keeps fucking with this out of tune guitar, but every once in a while she yells about rats being in the corn.

Frequently I’m not convinced they see Trump as the true enemy.

The rare, elusive 5 out of 5 Tyrone Biggumses crack pipe level. For only the crackiest of pipes!

“But if there is nothing to be worried about, then why is he worried?”

Orange is the new Black

Wouldn’t it be more convenient to have whatever workout equipment she wants at her probably-palacial home? Rather than renting an entire gym every time she wants to exercise. Or is there something I’m missing about rich people?

...wonderful and loving members of my family.

What do you call a bunch of Alfa Romeos that haven’t moved for years?

I bet the impact knocked the dent out of the Camry's rear bumper.

So much for being grounded to the ground

She was available, but not slutty.

I’m not clicking on that.

Me: That sound, that beautiful sound!

I suspect you have a conflict of interest, E36 Burger lord

Onlookers can be heard yelling “Damn!” and “You’re fucking your shit up!” as they watch in disbelief at the lengths this woman went to stave off her hunger pains.

Ja and T.I. must be ready to take new supergroup, Da Struggle Bruhs, out on tour judging by the ridiculous shit they’ve been saying this week 

“Agents said they have learned to drive along the base of the structure looking for subtle defects, testing the metal by kicking the bollards with their boots.”

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