He’s not really an athlete that’s very vocal about his religion but Jack Sock is a devout Onanist.

Well, at least two of your loads didn’t go to waste.

“I’ve wiped entire civilizations off my chest with a grey gym sock.”

“What’d he say?”

“She’s fightin’ men.... Hallelluiah, she’s fighting men, AMEN!!!”

Yeah, Ali stood up for his beliefs... when it suited him. During the week-long media asskissing festival that went on after Ali’s death only TheUndefeated.com had the balls to write at least ONE article that didn’t lionize the man. While other media outlets talked about how “Ali could shit out loaves of bread to feed…

Hey, I know sabermetrics are great but... MY GOD, MAN! You’re an insufferable douche. Sometimes there are just “feel-good” stories and players in sports. Not everything in sports has to be deconstructed down to numbers. I know Ross isn’t as good as your precious Yadier Molina. I know the Cubs “could’ve been better”…

For a second, I thought somebody had smeared feces on my computer screen. Then I realized it was just you and your comment.

Ross & Montero made the Cubs so terrible that they won 103 games, mopped the floor with the entire NL and won the World Series. Both of them had clutch hits in the postseason too. You’re right. They really dragged the Cubs down.

“I admire the effort.”

“Not sure why anyone thought this needed to be published.”

I’m gonna leave these here because kinja’s new comment section isn’t annoying enough yet...

Another brilliant move by Joe Maddon.

Don’t worry, the Brazilian police will find her and hold her for a ransom of only $20 million.

He should be glad he doesn’t have to wear the Cubs’ pantless uniforms...

And Big Mac was there to see it because he’s the Padres’ hitting coach.

Of course the Italians had their own plumbers...

Ok, cool. Thanks.

You’re the fuckin’ Boss... a Nova

“Mmmmm... Southern Hemisphere.”