“Not even being provocative but...” is the douchebag’s go-to opening statement.

Starred for use of “kayfabe” :)

This is all anecdotal, but the times I have called cops they, a.) blamed me for the crime that happened to me, b.) burst into my house with a shotgun in arms (though perhaps it was a beanbag gun), c.) told us it wasn’t their problem, there was nothing they could do, and we needed to call somebody else.

Do you have a favorite rock or mineral?

If the press conferences became theatre, you can blame Spicer and Sanders (and Trump and his circle) for that. Spicer and Huckabee came out time after time and lied to our faces, dodged reporters’ questions, and refused to accept or face reality. They turned it into a dance of telling the right lies and hoping the…

I will call only one person Mr. Mayor:

This Lizzo story really pisses me off, and I am having a hard time pinpointing why exactly. You have a driver who not only did what they were supposed to do, but they actually went above and beyond trying to get the food to its owner. And for that effort, the driver was put on blast worldwide.

During the summer between 7th and 8th grade (circa 1999), my mom bought one of those weird Ab Rocker exercise devices. It was also the first summer I was left home—as opposed to taken to grandma’s—every day, so I made a daily routine of watching my favorite VHS tapes (Three Ninjas Kick Back) and doing various…

Add me in as a third to the “meh on steak” platform. Its fine, generally, and sometimes wonderful. But I feel like literally every other meat has a bit more flexibility.

I grew up in a racist family in a trailer park in central California, and I’ve never, ever thought of doing blackface. Trudeau comes from a well-to-do, highly visible family and seemingly never thought twice about whether or not he should do it. I’m not saying I deserve a cookie, but I am really baffled that he missed…

In an alternate reality, Kimye got destroyed by a pack of antelope. I’m kinda interested in peaking in on that universe.

Holy cow! I had no idea. Thanks for sharing :)

Feel free to take away my nerd cred, but what does Spider-Woman have to do with a mystical threat? Doesn’t she have more to do with aliens and SWORD? Winter Soldier is an odd inclusion, too.

Mary was the grandmother I always wanted, and the fact that she’s a tan, blonde version of my actual grandmother both endeared me to her and made me a bit anxious. I miss her presence every time I watch the show. 

I’m a relative newcomer to the show and caught up on some seasons thanks to Netflix. I spend an odd amount of time thinking about Paul.

Our home rarely has pasta in part because I’ve been so unimpressed with the premade sauces (I am lazy, so homemade sauces are saved for special occasions). Thank you for the thorough taste test! I admit, I’ve never tried Emeril’s sauce because I figured I’d be paying mostly for his name. Now I might have to give it a…

I bought some prank candies that looked like Lemon Heads but in fact were full of raw garlic. I snuck some to school (8th grade at the time) and gave one to my friend right before our class started. She popped it in her mouth, and then the teacher came in right after.

It is very odd and somewhat insulting that Jackson is just referred to as “a stunt double for Milla Jovovich.” I’ll admit that I didn’t know Jackson’s name until your comment, but the writer of this post certainly should have looked into it. She lost an arm while doing her job, she can at least have a name.

I think Constance Wu can be likable in roles, but I’ll be the first person to admit that her real-life persona soured my enthusiasm a bit for her. Her complaining about FotB getting picked back up was childish.

Wait a second, she had consensual fun at a party in her early 20s? How fucking dare she.