Virgin Challenge Denied.

Would exploit.

Im going to see her perform tonight.

***opens eyes***

And he was delicious.

What kind of bike is that?

Probably in frantic negotiations to auction off TV rights to the funeral.

I wanna go out in a yacht explosion.

If I was a hitter i’d paint “FUCK YOU” on my chest and rip off my jersey on my way to first and spin around and wave my arms the whole way around.

Is there anything more terrifying than meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time?

Sometimes I “fall asleep” after a 12 pack too.

Money cant buy taste.

Why arent these people blonde?

You sicken me.

“Is it monkey navigated?”

His face looks like a bag of penises left out in the rain.

Thought he saw a hoagie in the end zone.

If I married a Kardashian I’d be flat on my back in a whorehouse with a suitcase full of cocaine too.

Shouldnt they be throwing folding chairs?

Its not alright for a car to touch you in your bathing suit area.