If my kid ate food off a bathroom floor I’d just leave him there and get a new one.

Shit, I’d pay to have a Fap Memorial featuring all the girls ive ever beat it to. I’d even go on a game show where the host takes you down memory lane and brings up pictures of a bunch of girls I totally forgot about.

Why millionaires ever tell women they are exclusive is beyond me.

“Only somebody as ugly and no class like you would ask somebody of myself a stupid question as that”

And this probably wont even be the dumbest thing he does today.

Depends on how much of your dick was burned off in that propane tank explosion.

Thats lawyerball for ya.

Better choice...

“Is anyone still alive in there?”

Never go anywhere with an athlete.

I find it relaxing.

Freedom dispenser.

Good, these things always suck donkey balls.

These movies are retarded.

The Bush family sold our soul for Saudi crude.

“Ya’ll ever seen a grown man butt fucking an eight year old in the shower??”

What was the name of the Texan who beat you up?

Thanks.

Got it, thanks.

Sweet.