I give credit to Alabamians that they’d properly identify him as a Jerry or Kraut. Their racism skills are strong there.

I dont do anal.

First thought while reading was “Great, now watch humans destroyed it.”

“Go back to Germany you stupid mick!”

“I already had my attorney, a swell Latina gal and a solid seven, buy up all that reef land. Yeah, im gonna put in a parking lot and clean up, losers.”

I have some bad news...that reef is firin’ its lazerz!

When is it on?? My body is ready!!!!

“I hope they play all their hit.”

“I think that’s going to be very challenging. Does 3 Doors Down do comedy? I don’t know, maybe they do.”

OP was just worried about the zipper conducting electricity.

I feel like that might have ended badly.

Hey, they were chafing me!

I assume the cop kept his pants on. See, that’s where you went wrong.

I think some kudos need to be given to Sgt. Bline as well for agreeing to get fucking tazed. This ain’t exactly like getting into the dunk tank at the county fair.

No gratitude to the cop for volunteering. Typical Jezebel shitposting.

And when I asked that 17 year old girl to taze me I got slapped with a restraining order.

I love that cop. Sounds like a good guy.

I was kinda hoping that she got a hold of a taser and just randomly tased some cop (I mean, why the hell not?).

Well, if they stick to blowing up shit with “TRUMP” hanging on it then its kind of a win-win for the terrorists and for tasteful architecture.