I hate PBR, so bad.

Hmm, I may actually be more of a redneck than a hipster due the fact that I drive a truck and own a lot of guns but I do wear fancy wingtips with tight jeans and listen to “Joy Division” and “Future Islands” and crap like that.

These movies are going to suck donkey balls.

“Phil Spectors .45 Caliber Lager”

Looking for flights of plastic dog shit out of Hong Kong.

Let me guess....Hes dead the whole time?

“Professor, would you say it’s time for our viewers to crack open each others skulls and feast on the goo inside?”

I wish I had a barn I could move to.

$200,000?

Turns out the AIDS medicine was just corn chip dust that turned out to be dried bull semen.

True, many people stay dumb.

“....a vagina is actually not a manhole.”

Shes just a confused college student.

Holy fuck that is butt ugly.

To which he replied “IDGAF”.

I got another tattoo at 40 after being bounced from my job.

Theres plenty of room in my driveway.

Assless chaps and a beer helmet.