Dude looks greasier than a bucket of fried chicken.

“One down...”

“My brother lost a goddamn arm fighting you fuckers in Vietnam.!”

Operation Mongoloid Moose launched flares at Canada.

“I wonder could it be on account of the asbestos factory next door to the unventilated silver mine..?”

Yeah, driving your pollution-mobile across the country sounds like a great way to help the environment.

My kid, uh whats his name, thought that was pretty neat.

He would do it himself HIV he knew how foolish they made him sound.

I wonder how much top shelf pussy I would get if I moved to Latvia just by being American.

So his GF dumped him and now his shits all burned and soaked with water and he went to jail.

Theres something hilarious about a guy laying motionless face down on the ice.

Ill stick with Xanax and a six-pack of Bud Light.

“I caught the ball and put in hoop. You are woman now.”

Probably didnt want to risk being banned from the MLB Hall of Fame.

“Can you help me change my sack?”

Nothing wrong with that.

“Violence is never the answer, but sometimes it is.”

Ive spoken to him (Howard) a few times at the gun range and he seems like a pretty cool guy and im not even a huge Rockets fan.

“Friends hang sometimes and usually spend that time talking about how stupid Kobe is.”

How many middle schoolers does he have to feed that fucker every day??