I used to own four vintage Vespas that I kept in my kitchen.

Shut up, Billy Joel.

Im hoping this conversation will generate interest in and help raise funds for my upcoming rock opera in which AC/DC travel back in time to solve the Jack the Ripper murders.

Still, im gonna chase that feeling...

Ms. Jackson to you.

Not when the wounded animal is clamped onto your ankle.

I think id feel worse about fucking a robot and never talking to her again than I would an actual person.

But he didnt...

No way, not a month before the election.

He handed her a loaded gun and she decided to shoot him in the foot instead of the head.

Its true, she should have buried him under his own words and taked policy in the 3rd debate.

Id get down in the mud with her....

Hillary should have gotten down in the mud last night and made it all about his comments. Missed opportunity.

Trump is planning on sending him a nice cheeseburger basket.

Trump looks about as familiar with the gym or a locker room as I am with needlepoint.

Id rather visit a theme park filled with robots who know how to use turn signals, dont bring hot food on public transportation and never piss on the seat.

Brady responded, “Wait......this isnt the way to the park! You’re taking me to the vet! ARF! ARF! ARF!”

Its true.

Somebody got taken to Chuck E Cheese that night.

A bunch of stupid women will still vote for him.