"Get the shot!!"

Dude here, so tell me ladies, if I depict my hallucinations from a horrific peyote binge in finger paints on a handbag and give it to my woman exactly how fast will the panties come off??

Uh no, pornography is pornography for my eyes and ears.

"I would have made him be my butler"

Nobody walks in LA.

Salinas is the Fallujah of central California.

I hope they got married on top of a mountain, with flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And their children will form a family band. And they will tour the countryside and you won't be invited.

When I was a kid in Texas and a semi was passing on the left it was common to flash the high beams to let him know when he was clear to get back over in the right lane and he would flash his rig running lights in return. Also people seemed to have stopped flashing their lights to warn of speed traps.

Dude looks like a cross between Ron Howard and Woody Harrelson.

Vacuuming? Sweeping?

If you committed a crime and the judge decreed that your punishment should be to have your dick slammed in a door would you prefer it to be hard or flaccid?

The way these people talk is seriously annoying.

You ladies should try Dwaynes 100% Organic Tampons.

Come to Times Beach where the streets are paved with...motherfuckin' Dioxin.

Lets not drag ZZ Top into this.

Would you rather have sex with your mother once or wear one Rollerblade for the rest of your life?

First customer.

Almost a bird strike at about 2:15.

I used to live in Hazard County. I saw them Duke boys at the Piggly Wiggly all the time shopping for dynamite.