Ive been depressed, functioning alcoholic for most of my life and havent murdered anyone.

Sounds like the female equivalent of panty sniffing.

Ill wait for it to come out on 8 Track.

I used to work at a haunted house in downtown Houston and, without fail, the hardest looking gangster-ass brothers would end up on their hands and knees fighting each other to get out while their girls laughed.

Clown on PCP.

Owner...

Uh, what in the name of fuck is she wearing?

Well yeah, but it sounds pretty bad when you say it like that.

People should stop going to college.

The 1980's were the Golden Age of the serial killer which also coincided with the rise in popularity of our current president who now wants to revert to 1980's era policies on immigration, crime and race relations.

There is no cure for psychopathy.

Im gonna assume youve never been to College Station.

I like Alec Baldwins work but life is a lot easier when I imagine that every famous person is a raging douchebag.

Is that the brougham? With the landau roof??

I blame the IRA.

If wind speeds increase past 200 mph id say that warrants a new category.

KAC five years ago...

So the next medium female talent?