Its true, you do need to be tough.

Houston is where everything important in Texas happens. Some people cant hack it down here. Those people live in Lubbock or Abilene where things aint so dang confusing.

Nah, youre most likely just a giant pussy who cant handle hot weather and spicy food.

“Harris County, TX”

So Kanye says George W Bush didnt care about black people and he had black people in the top positions of his cabinet but Trump who has a cabinet whiter than a Denver bridal shower is all good.

Yep.

“Thats why you always wipe down the machine!!!”

Making a comeback you filthy, godless heathens.

So every single person in that fucked up redneck family is a total ass-wipe. Got it.

Or maybe nobody should be getting political information from either of these idiots with an 8th grade education.

called the entire experience “horrific.”

But making fun of white people using any racial slur imaginable is still super cool, right?

Kanye is a fucking idiot.

Anyone who willingly puts Trumps dick in their mouth cannot have my respect.

Say what you will but AR’s are fucking fun to shoot. Especially if you own a select fire model and a suppressor. An AR with a 10" barrel sounds like a bomb going off when fired. Especially indoors.

Strip clips are quick loading devices.

Can this fuckin’ prostitute go five minutes without flashing her fat ass?

“I recently remarked to some friends that cooking meat is easy and more difficult than cooking without meat...”

Ladybird is seriously overrated.