I know ill die before jet packs become available to consumers.

Are there titties in it or not, dude?

Shes moving a little fast.

Think ill motor down there and open a Viagra stand.

Good thing nobody gives a shit.

...

“There’s nothing in life more important than our children,”

She always looks chunky to me.

I simply say love is strange.

“PONCE!”

She looks fat.

Right after fuckhead pills started selling.

Raise your hand if youve ever been to a NASCAR race.

Yeah, fuck this guy.

Sometimes the thing that almost killed you probably just should have killed you.

Would that I still resided there.

Haha, they spell goal “gooool”.

One time in HS I had a blowout but I was too drunk to change it so I just drove home on the rim. The next day there was a line carved into the street all the way through town to my driveway.

Try harder, its not working, dude.

“What are those doors?”