Something that slowly dawned on me is that all of these keyboard warriors of today are probably going to be the Values Voters of tomorrow.

Does she carry no responsibility to give something other than “non verbal cues” that she isn’t interested? What is the minimum level of “nonverbal cue” where the man is still guilty of sexual assault?

Do you need a hug?

I’m not going to say this all stems from man-hating, but I just got called a rapist for expressing my skepticism on this one particular case (and no others on this site or anywhere else), so what the fuck do I know?

Either women are strong and #brave and empowered and are capable of doing anything a man is, or this isnt sexual misconduct. You cannot have both.

Consent was coerced. It often is. That is very lame, and people shouldn’t do it, but there are gradations of coercion, from “he poured me another drink and persisted in asking me to hook up with him” all the way up to “he will destroy my career if I don’t.” The former is morally suspect, but it isn’t a legally…

“men are socialized to pursue sex from women”

People don’t make this stuff up

So believe everything you ever read with no regard for the credibility of the source.

They aren’t a Russian porn site or anything

Acting inappropriately does not mean he’s a criminal or a rapist.

It’s not true that people don’t make this stuff up. How often it happens can be disputed, but to pretend it’s not a possibility is wrong.

Because she couldn’t say no or stop — or just leave? So she gave nonverbal cues? So get limp and think of England? And they had mutual oral sex before the second blowjob - and they were naked the whole time. My point? Stand up for yourself. This isn’t a secretary being chased around the office in 1950.

Andrew Sullivan latest article articulates this very well. If you are going to make a career altering accusation then put your name on it

“I get that this is what you—and probably Aziz—see as being the case. ‘I’m just being pushy, whatever.’” 

She’s not pressing charges. She’s using the press and doing it anonymously. That is problematic for me. It may not be for you. YMMV.

Wouldn’t the nudity and oral sex mean the signals were, at worse, mixed?

I haven’t really misjudged anything. I’ve seen one side of the story. His apology was for making her feel uncomfortable/pressured or whatever. He said he misread signals.

It’s tough because while I want to give every protection to victims, I agree. If you’re going to put your story out in this way, you should step forward.

Two problems with this story (or really one combined major problem):