Oh please! A cat wouldn’t get caught in a cistern and make their friend spend a week trying to rescue it.

I really don’t like candy corn. HOWEVER, if you dump some in a bowl with salted peanuts and eat them by the handful, they taste like PayDay candy bars. Now, you may be thinking “Why not just eat a PayDay bar?” And the answer is, it’s not festive enough. A bowl of candy corns and salted peanuts for a Halloween shindig…

needed large male volunteers

allegedly wearing a swimsuit, wooly hat, and prosthetic penis.

Yikes! I need to get out of the city, apparently.

THAT IS A HEDGEHOG, YO! This is a porcupine.

Oh god I can’t STAND bitchy Mary. I’m hoping Edith knocks her off her high horse once and for all.

The answer is that everyone who goes to Time Square is now obligated to be nude.

Oh lawdy.

As a mom of a little girl, I’m super offended that she was ordered to cover up. She’s a toddler. The joy of being a toddler is being able to run round naked without a care in the world.

And I also respect the mom hopefully trying to instill a value of body autonomy to the tot.

But, there is a part of me that’s…

Serena is still queen.

Yes, it so needed a Zahn instead.

It’s fine.

This assumes that I’m taking showers solely to get clean. Showers are great! Baths are great! Hot water and singing along to my favorite Whitney Houston jams and occasionally even drinking a beer—GREAT!

The Aristocrats!

I have a dog and I agree. Even my dog gets disgusted when she has to walk around other dogs poo on the street.

Ehhh. I used to live in an apartment building with someone who NEVER picked up her dog’s poop. Ever. Our front lawn was downright disgusting unless someone else in the building got fed up and cleaned it all, and then it would promptly start filling up again. If you can’t pick up shit, don’t get a dog. If you’re…

There are not very many good book-to-movie adaptations. A Christmas Story’s though, was fucking brilliant.

I love when the state I have tattooed behind my ear and vehemently stan for proves it is worthy of my devotion.

I not sure what “pegging” but according to teenage me from the early 90’s I think it involves fantasies involving her: