4th Amendment: “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the…

Dante “The X-Factor” Hall was 5'8" and he was also the shit.

+ 0.16

Straight from the depths of Take Valley, that one.

In the first paragraph, I’m saying that his statistics, regardless of schedule, do not indicate that he is even the most valuable QB this season.

and for MVP candidate Derek Carr.

Why do we need the contrived, insipid, bizarre situation that you described? Social studies bee? That isn’t even a thing, and that’s nowhere near the strangest part of your scenario. A thought experiment using the same video that we’re discussing, but in which the races of the two players are reversed, is far simpler…

This is why you should have a well-diversified investment portfolio spanning several asset classes. That, and make sure those investments automatically rebalance to correct the very problem this figure illustrates.

Hard to go broke taking the field.

Biggest single month movement in bond prices since January 2009. Crazy stuff.

+  5  1

Holy shit that was the first 5 seconds of the fight!

Well now I know what I’m putting down on the 2020 census.

Not to be “that guy,” but not only did he take four steps without dribbling, if you watch closely, there was a blatant kicked ball that went uncalled.

I didn’t realize that “talking shit and dramatically overestimating your abilities and then getting tossed to the ground by your own momentum” was a race.

Yes, this name is low hanging fruit.

Am I allowed to kill any sportswriter who makes a “just needs to change his sox! hardy har har!” joke?

I don’t want to, but I think I already do. For instance, I didn’t really care about Jerseygate when it happened and in the last five minutes my brain has changed my perception to “TYPICAL ENTITLED MASSHOLE, WHAT ELSE IS NEW.”

This. Every time a player leaves a team to sign for a couple million more dollars elsewhere, it’s the inevitable “Really? He signed for $47 million? We offered him $44 million! How much is enough!?”

Which is why Dusty Baker is a Major League Baseball manager and you are a whatever-it-is-that-you-do.