I’d suggest they just burn East Lansing to the ground, but the students will do that the next time they beat Eastern Michigan.

Miami comes to Pittsburgh end of October, you should get tickets 

Throw in an immovable right elbow and I’d say somebody should corner the market on singles and sell to him at a markup.

Big Ben with nothing to do must be a Steel-Town stripper nightmare.

My girlfriend’s sister had mono when we were all in college. I was terrified I’d get it because my girlfriend was the super jealous type and she would have accused me of kissing her sister or something. And the last thing I’d want is my girlfriend yelling at me because then my wife would find out.

I’ve got asthma that wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult, I can’t imagine trying to push myself through it for sports like this.  Also, if it’s too hot to practice outside, why are a bunch of 15 year olds practicing at all?

dont bring your bible to school - its killed more people than guns could ever hope to.

Time to find a new wife,some things are non nonnegotiable,Weird Al being top of list

Barkevious Mingo will always be my favorite Star Wars character. 

Hey, Barkevious Mingo may be bad, but he is not anonymous. His name may be his greatest natural talent. Don’t take that away from him.

to the FUCK up. fuck the parents, absolutely, for trying to blame the dude who may have gone to cop for Skaggs. but blaming HIM? dude is dead, dude may well have died from what would have been a normal night if it turned out that he got a pressie with a hot spot or something like that and a usual night of chillin with…

Go! It's the exact opposite of your fear! If you're telling yourself to go...go. It most likely will change your life

Yes you absolutely can go. That’s what I did. Don’t feel like you have to take a chip either because you don’t. (That will make sense later)

Whoa! Your meetings have snacks?! Mine only have shitty coffee.

“....and a horrible way to go.”

^ The only context in which that sentence will ever be stated.

the next season of The Walking Dead looks amazing...

From the article:

Let me get this right. This fucking guy decided to shoot people that weren’t Larry Nassar?

stalls with no doors should be designated a hate crime.