I grew up in the Florida Panhandle (talk about Jeebus country) and Cookout’s hush puppies are, like, the Tater Tots of hush puppies.

In 1988, I had celebrated my 5 year wedding anniversary, finished graduate school, gotten a job, and bought my first house.

Currently, black people can’t: go shopping; buy a hamburger; walk with their own children in a park; go shopping; meet for coffee; go shopping; fall asleep; get lost or, again, go shopping...and this stupid bitch is complaining that people commented—mind you, COMMENTED—on her carrying an assault weapon on campus. WTF…

With the preface that this is only equivalent in terms of shopping:

An ex-boss once wrote—I can’t send this to you in writing so I am putting it in email.

Hey, we see shit, we say shit.

It’s like one of those horror movies: “Donald, the phone calls are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!”

What is it with evangelical types and fast-food chains? I ate at Cookout for the first time this weekend—quote from Proverbs on the bag. In and Out Burger? Quote from John. Chick Fil A has a lock on all the Jersey turnpike stops and THEY AREN’T OPEN ON SUNDAY, one of the two biggest travel days of the week.

Pretty sure most oppressed people are not publishing meandering novelistic opinion pieces in the paper of record.

Or frosted lipstick. From the 60s. Seeing pics of my mother in a bouffant (wiglet included) and shimmery pink lipstick makes for serious throwback.

One drawback: Someone who needs a glue stick may grab it off your desk and smear it all over the back of a layout, thus ruining your Palmer’s AND the layout.

I haven’t shaved Down There since my 40s (I am 60 now) when my sister introduced me to board shorts as swimming apparel. I am all about Not Itchy.

I have broken toes while going barefoot so often that I have nightmares about having to walk somewhere without shoes on. Have also broken my little toes while wearing flip-flops.

RUDE NEGRO: PLEASE POST ON LATEST SALTY WAITRESS ASAP.

I need to see The Rude Negro’s take on this.

And so did England.

Starred for the reference.

This is why I have only black pets. I have decorated the whole fucking apartment so I never have to worry about black pet hair.

She has been old enough to die since before she was born.

We don’t work together any more but I am going to find her and tell her this.