At first I read your response as “I don’t consider iTunes. Thanks.” Like you don’t believe in it or something. I was so confused.

Right? My brother is bulking (I know Brady isn’t, but he is fit for a living). He has to eat like 4,000 calories a day. And unless you’re eating whoppers and fries, it’s so hard to eat that much. I can’t imagine Brady’s portion sizes.

I am SO GLAD he’s not affiliated with Uchi anymore, because if I had to choose between going to Uchi and taking a stand against this shit...I really don’t know what I’d pick. I can stay away from Jimmy John’s, Hobby Lobby, and Chick-Fil-A, but Uchi is legit the best restaurant in Austin and I don’t know if I have the…

I have never discussed this with my mom, although I wouldn’t mind. She might be uncomfortable though, because I’m pretty sure her number is 1, and my number is somewhere in the 20s. I’m not sure if she’d be more concerned that it was high, or that I honestly don’t know exactly what it is.

Holy crap, doesn’t even look like the same guy.

Sweet Salami might be my new catchphrase.

Bieber looks like he’s 90 years old.

“Coocoo bananas” is one of the most fun phrases to say in the English language.

I think Elizabeth Olsen is a really good actress, and being in this show would be career suicide. And I’m pretty sure her team would never have let her do it, even if they’d asked.

I cried my eyes out when I watched this last night.

Have any of you seen the trailer for the new Emma Watson movie, Colonia? I’m super intrigued.

#1 best possible use of this gif.

Man, it’s a tricky question. I’m with you.

I feel like it takes effort to make the tech stars and supermodels look that fucking boring.

That is a lot of white fingers.

For real. I really like my job, and I’m happy where I am. But I think if I could do it over, I’d become an electrician or something. Where I live is exploding so quickly, there’s more work than the tradespeople can keep up with. If I’d gone into it and gotten good, I’d be cleaning up right now. Plus I could rewire my…

It’s not that bad, but it takes a couple months to actually receive it. Pretty sure it’s just a form, some proof of ID, and then you have to go to an official passport photo location (often the post office) for a picture.

That first clip made me laugh so hard I almost got busted at work. Sam Bee is the best.

That’s so sad. Have you tried talking to a therapist about it?

So. Ugly.