"This is who I got traded to??!?"

The username you're seeing is the Instagram account name of the comedian who gets these messages. Rebecca is totes safe.

How many frustrated kids whose only outlets for aggression are Call of Duty, sports, or hip-hop

Kojima already gave the reason; He wanted it sexy so he can see cosplayers dressed as the characters.

The Minnesota Vikings announced that Adrian Peterson is staying on the team so that he can spend less time with his family.

being an NFL fan these days is like being an 80-year old person. Every time the phone rings, you just want to shriek, "Aw, who is it this time?"

You guys write this article, and then I see an advertisement on THIS website telling me to use the NFL app on Xbox One..

I think the Carlos Martinez gif is just perfect here.

Jeff Allen has an elbow injury and needs surgery. The headline says he needs an injury, as though he's fine and the writer wants him to get hurt.

It's funny because Jeff Allen doesn't even have elbows.

Underrated comment.

There should be some mention that another Chiefs player, Mike Catapano, has had an illness for months that (at least based on the teams reports) they literally have no idea what it is. WTF

Let this be a lesson: do NOT borrow money from ESPN. This is what happens when you're late with the vig.

Reality 1 - 0 Fantasy

I would anticipate a 1-game suspension because a child is about half the size of a woman.

I guess you're stuck with him all day.

First thought: Why are there so few from St. Louis? Then I remembered that you don't want to get in to trouble with the police in and around St. Louis.

Phew, thank god they kept that uber-distraction Michael Sam off an active roster, huh guys?