"A twinkie weiner sandwich!"

You know what I tell those guys? How embarrassing Gonorrhea is. :P

Wouldn't that be lovely? I currently work in academia and our Provost is so forward thinking that he wants to double the comp class sizes to seventy and eradicate all of the graduate programs.

What about us hollerers? I'll just holler and holler when I'm coming.

TAKS test! Die a thousand fiery deaths! Also, those questions are mixed up on every test. She must have had a hell of a time cheating.

Hawt. So hawt. Want to touch the heiny.

Admittedly, I am inebriated. However, this comment made me laugh for 2 minutes.

Hey friend,

I need some life advice from my fellow Jezzies. So, I am halfway through my MFA in fiction and have a year and half to go. I am not published yet. When I graduate I will have 12 hours of teaching composition under my belt. I am unsure of what to do with this. I'm not sure I am willing to adjunct and I am also unsure…

I went as Butch Coolidge, ball gag and Katana included. We could have been party partners!

Also, we must remember, they are animals. Otters don't have complex morality. Penguins are birds. And dolphins...well fuck 'em.

"Perfection," said she to no one in particular.

Does the Guy Fieri incident smack of lover's quarrel to anyone else?

Well, in reality we'd probably all be dead. From birthing a human. I'd probably be dead in Eastern Europe from birthing a human or being a she-Jew.

Me too. In fact, I'm dying right now.

Nope.

That story scared me so badly, I started crying. Whoa. I think that was a shade, not a ghost.

Boom!

I stopped shaving three years ago and I think it's cute. I love being fuzzy, while having a crew cut, I basically look like a duckling, a really mad feminist duckling. Just take that right and own it!