Bern Bernie Bern ice cream - a sweet cream base with fair trade cinnamon, ginger, and curry, and a honey-chili swirl.

PERFECT

Actually, I just checked the OED and the mostest correct spelling is “lazerrrrrrrrr.”

Zactly.

I may be dumb, but I am not blonde!

OMG. JEZEBEL IS SO HOSTILE NOW! AND CLEARLY FULL OF DUMB, UNEDUCATED BLONDES.

You’re right, spelled just like the tazer.

I'm pretty sure it's lazer.

I’ll just leave this here for your little spelling corrector buddy:

I like it spelled with a z. Sounds scarier that way.

Can I make my smart menstrual cup send automatic Farmville-style invites to all my female contacts? Because that would save me a lot of evangelism hours.

Would your uterus show up on other bluetooth enabled smartphones as a device?
Found:

I prefer my whoppers to be the malt ball kind.

It’s probably the reason why I don’t have one! It’s as if The Man Upstairs looked at me and said

That caught me off guard, almost spit out my beer laughing! ;-)

Note: While there is a slight difference between this piece and the Gawker piece - in that the man being written about here did not contact Jezebel first to extort anyone, and he has [allegedly lololol] been doing illegal things, there is still SO MUCH HYPOCRISY here, and especially from you, Natasha, that all of the…

Tryna catch me riding dirty...

*TRIGGER WARNING* I used to work in a photo lab. I saw all kinds of photos, and one of the things I saw was photos of deceased people. I developed crime scene photos. I developed drug photos, war photos, sex photos, everything. I saw everything.

It only took three minutes for a Holocaust comment to come up after this was published. And four for someone to call her a skeleton.

Unhealthy Malnourished Holocaust Skeleton