Now that I’ve seen John Mulaney live a few times, I COMPLETELY see his style in Stefon writing. And I’m sad for not being allowed in the room when they come up with this shit. Mulaney rules.

His landing zone missed
He broke his leg twice;
Gonna find out Who’s a trained medical professional
Santa Claus is coming to town

Oh, snap.

I wish the same rules applied at my job.

......As opposed to those ever-so-frequent decoy swings without any intent to hit the ball? What?

I love that restaurant. I don’t recommend the “stuffed peppers”

PART DEUX:

A lot of people got really mad about facial expressions, gameplay, combat mechanics, etc. I get mad when aliens 500 lightyears away look like humans and hug. I also get really, really mad when people don’t pull up to the line all the way at a red light. Welcome to the curse of me.

In other news, once you realize that Trump speaks EXACTLY like John Mulaney’s voice for the NY Post, you will never un-hear it again.

Just a random vent here:

This is your annual reminder that Marshall went rogue and called his own press conference to throw the woman he beat under the bus. Fuck that guy.

“Heineken refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach. - Cuba.”

I think we need to submit both to the Smithsonian and call it a day

Late last year I was sitting at a bar in the Jacksonville airport. An old man sat down on the stool next to me, and proclaimed/asked, “I don’t drink, can I get a diet coke?” I was down a few large beers at the time and gave into him wanting to strike up a conversation. ESPN was on TV, and he kept interjecting with…

Anyone else ever notice that Buchholz looks exactly like the evil Family Guy turtle?

Black Mirror season 4 should be exclusively about her.