This is a pretty sad take on things in my opinion. My male friend, who happens to be a humble home-maker, is married to a female doctor. He makes less than a gas station attendant and she makes several million dollars a year. Perhaps that’s the exception and not the rule, though. The more positive way to think about…

Yes, “leagues” exist in people’s heads due to fear, self loathing, peer pressure, stereotypes, etc. In reality, people differ, and it takes time and effort to match up with someone. That person can be an absolute stunner in beauty or not, its up to you to make the attempt.

Matt Damon married his wife in his mid-thirties, she was 30. Hardly a mid-life crisis thing there.

The flaw of the “leagues” is that you’re assuming you know what someone else is looking for.

Lemme tell you why you didn’t get noticed when you were 50 pounds heavier. You say your confidence hasn’t changed, but look at *everything else* you’re saying, and I’m going to call bullshit that it didn’t. Sure, consciously, you might’ve been trying just as hard, but you clearly have this innate view that larger men…

I’ve been the girl in the first case, and it always makes me sad (1) when I know that things that I’m “good” at scare other people away from me, (2) that people can’t see all the things that make me a human who needs other humans to love her, and (3) when people assume that being, e.g., really smart means that you’d…

Harris, You could have saved PAGES of this response by simply posting these two photos:

I’m going to give him a hard pass. Pavarotti on the other hand...

George Clooney has famously gone out with women who are not celebs.

While some psychoanalysts will tell you that dreams have plainly symbolic meaning, most psychologists will tell you that the meaning dreams carry is exactly the meaning that you inject into them. No less than that, and no more. Dream interpretation can be a very useful exercise for meaning-making, but having a dream…

That’s not a “league”, that’s just “few people want to date a slob”.

For reference, here is the video. At the 1:56 mark you will see exactly what the Doc is talking about.

"We don't date a person's face or torso (or at least, when we do, those relationships tend to fall apart pretty quickly)"

What you did there, I see it!

For the second one, as someone who has been with their wife for almost 9 years, married for almost 6 years, a healthy couple will get into arguments, sometimes a lot and over the stupidest shit you could think of. The important thing to remember is figure out a way to argue without trying to hurt the person, but still…

Reminds me of the one summer my boyfriend and I lived in a tiny studio apartment with no air conditioner. We nearly murdered each other a couple times. But things got better once we got more space, and we’re still together and doing fine :)

Whatup NSA! A few years back, my girl and I were in a very similar situation as you - both crammed into a small one bedroom apartment, very little personal space, very little extra money, both working crazy hours, fighting pretty much every weekend, questioning why I was in a relationship at all - you get the idea.…

Good advice on the first one there, Dr. There are no leagues. There is no objective standard of physical attraction etc etc etc. The major barrier this letter writer has is self-doubt. Spot on, Dr!