Glad to see Broadway Joe is better at handing off C-notes than he is at tossing coins.

In the South, this list goes:

[If SI's reporters believed] anonymity was essential for any conversation to occur, that set some pretty low expectations for the thought capacity of NFL executives. It also ensured SI would get what it was looking for […].

PUPPIES!

[Another fat joke].

[Fat joke].

[Fat joke.]

This needs to be in the menagerie of faces at the top of the home page.

Yes, it's a shitty clip job, but, god damnit, +1 to you for the thought and effort, sir.

Because advertising dollars. Not even national news outlets are immune to ass-kissing executives.

Because there's big advertising money at stake. Kind of like how recently my newspaper's publisher killed an op-ed on new gun legislation in my state by our news staff's most veteran and respected columnist because it might have upset rich, WASP advertisers to whom he shamelessly panders. Can't have controversy, and…

This — all of this — wonderfully captures the beauty of baseball and what makes it great. You can argue minutia for hours discussing everything from a slight upstroke in a swing to the parks the boys play in and their situational stats. It's just terrific. Baseball is the perfect sport.

You spelled it wrong, dumbshit. No recommend for you.

Stand your ground, George, or X gon' give it to ya.

Waste Management: "Phoenix Closed"

You did this, MTV. These are the monsters you have created.

"[C]heerleading on this level" is "a scam exploiting the good looks and naiveté of young women."

Bear: [Climbs tree.]
Me: [Shits pants, screams like a girl.]

This incorrectly assumes a complexity and depth of the male psyche that simply doesn't exist. What can we say? We just want to fuck. It's science.