This is pretty much how I got my start (albeit covering preps and small colleges), and how I gave several aspiring stringers their first tastes — carrying a buddy’s camera bag and holding a notebook as a tagalong, and acting like you belong there.

My grandfather tells a story like this. A guy came through his town with an orangutan. This would’ve been in the late 40s or early 50s. Same deal. Everybody got their ass kicked ... until this one ginormous country boy got in the cage, and according to my Pop, “beat that monkey just about half to death.” What a time…

Dire Wolf and Tiger are badly seeded. It’s unfair we have to pick between these in the round of 64. Both easily could win. But when you’re voting, remember Dire Wolves hunted in packs.

Yeah, but still fuck Curt Schilling. He’s the worst.

Nick, you wrote:

This award should be named for Skip Bayless.

Like I told you on Twitter, Barry —- geese are the fucking worst. Seagulls are saints compared to geese. Obnoxious, aggressive, useless, filthy animals that shit EVERYWHERE. Fuck geese. I hope the eagle murders it next time.

Selfishly, Clemson over ‘Bama this year. Is Dabo insufferable? Yes. Was Alabama the better-coached, and overall better team? Clearly. However, that’s likely as close as the Tigers will come to a title win again in the next three decades, and, by God, Deshaun Watson deserved it. He carried that team on his back all…

You’d think that. I also find it inconceivable that a petite, 110-pounds-soaking-wet female coworker played club rugby in college. Yet she did. I find unsettling and frightening the evident volume of balls this tiny chick possesses — but also kinda hot.

I was 22, still holding onto an odd personal vow I made in obedience to a lifetime of Christian guilt-scare-shaming that I would NEVER do any illegal drugs. What would Jesus and my grandma think? Enter irony: I was sitting around a fire with my friends, balls drunk from guzzling the lion’s share of a quart jar of…

Reading Drew try to come up with negative shit to say about Peyton went about how I imagine an attempted character assassination of Andy Griffith would go. Fuck you, Drew.

He’d still have to catch it. My high school team lost a region game this way ages ago. The other team got the pooch the first time. Coach said fair catch it next time. Next kick, they did it again. Dipshit called fair catch, but didn’t catch the god damned ball. Just let it drop in front of him.

This is what I came to comment. Special teams alone cost Clemson the game, in a span of 2 minutes.

What I took away from this isI clicked on a lot of the ones purporting to show dicks, but apparently so did a lot of you, so I’m not so concerned.

Very specifically — while walking alone in the dark, I fear being suddenly attacked and killed by wild animals not native to North America, or at least not my Southeastern corner of the United States. Lions, tigers, hyenas, grizzly bears, etc. Oh, and also werewolves.

This is what started it all for me. “LeBron James Is A Cocksucker.”

Chop an onion, chop some garlic, chop a red pepper ... are you just trying to get drunk people to mutilate themselves, or what?

A couple suggestions: don’t be afraid to really season your chicken, and also don’t go crazy shredding it. Too often in the chicken bog or perlo (they’re interchangeable in my corner of South Carolina), all the meat one tastes is the sausage, and the chicken is shredded so finely that there’s almost no substance to…

“Allenby ... requested a security escort when leaving the course because he claimed Middlemo had threatened to wait for him in the parking lot.”

Sandler has never ceased being legitimately funny. He’s simply stopped trying hard to be funny for us. He makes a couple, maybe three shitty, predictable, formulaic, sophomoric comedies every few years, then laughs all the way to the bank before going home to his family. He doesn’t have to be brilliant anymore. But he…