I see your point and I'm sure that was the intention but the lyrics are sketchy as hell. Maybe it's less about rape and more about the creepy idea that respectable ladies have to be coerced into sex and say no for a while first. So, rape culture?

That song is about rape? Fuck, really? I always thought it was about a woman and her one night stand trying to find socially acceptable ways to spend the night with each other. I mean, the song was written in the 40s and they're clearly doing the ol' unmarried wink wink nudge nudge.

I think my nearby Dollar General is also declaring war on Christmas. The day after Halloween, I went to go buy a shit ton of discount candy to make gift baggies for the nurses in the maternity ward where I'll be delivering. No Halloween candy. What did they have instead? VALENTINE'S DAY CANDY. What the fuck, man?!…

We are going to need some really good War on Christmas carols if we want to win this thing. I wrote two to get us started.

Personally, I've declared a War on Black Friday. It's bad enough that it's starts Thursday at 5 fucking pm now, throw in employers keeping workers perpetually underemployed as a form of manipulation, and acting like they should be grateful to get these extra hours, while people kill each other fighting over shitty…

Many, many years ago I was secret shopped. The lady came in and wanted something that was not on the menu and against company policy to make. She tried every thing to get me to do it. She was pretty nasty about it too. I refused. I probably would have done it, if her eye make-up hadn't annoyed me.

She got very angry, said no and that she'd eat it even though we were wrong...and then told us that if a customer wants you to grill a steak until it gets tender, you grill it until it gets tender.

I sort of feel torn about the "weirdest Italian food" customer. On the one hand, what a dummy, amirite? On the other hand, I feel like since he really enjoyed the meal and is just seemingly harmlessly ignorant, I don't want to be snarky. Like, he wasn't being racist or anything, just all "this is weird Italian…

I can handle a secret shopper being mad about a toddler being illegally served beer-battered fish & chips.

I'm a barista in the Midwest. One of my coworkers started at Starbucks before coming to our shop; and had me in tears after he told me about a rednecky gentleman who came in to order one night. I guess this guy strode in and jovially, loudly asked him, "Hey man! Y'all got them, uh, caramel machetes here?!"

I need No-Red guy to go on a date with Allergic-to-Crunchy woman.

Regarding secret shoppers: Editor's Note: There is no screening process. Any idiot can — and usually does — sign up for that job

I once had a friend refuse to eat a slice of lemon pound cake because I mentioned I'd used my homemade vanilla in it (like 2 tsp in the whole cake). She doesn't drink, and when she learned that my homemade vanilla is vanilla beans in vodka, she declined the cake. I explained that unless powdered vanilla is used, all…

So full from all the gratuities in mah belleh.

When I was in Europe, selling monogrammed thermoses, THEY would cook my steaks for me until it was tender, no matter how long it took. Americans are so lazy sometimes.

I politely let him know that I could have asked the kitchen to skip the red if he had asked me before the meal was prepared but that I was unable to accommodate him after he had started eating.

I normally serve mine in a beer batter but only to my guests that are 21+.

I like my gratuity grilled until it's tender. Please remember that for next time.

if a customer wants you to grill a steak until it gets tender, you grill it until it gets tender

The beer battered mystery shopper may be related to an acquaintance of mine, who would not eat beer battered anything when she was pregnant. "Guys, I CAN'T have any beer, because the baby will get fetal alcohol syndrome"