A garlic press is for rubes who don’t know how to cook. All it will do is squeeze out all the juice, which you really want in there.

A garlic press is for rubes who don’t know how to cook. All it will do is squeeze out all the juice, which you…

Catching a ball is fun. Keeping that ball? It’s just a ball. Who gives a shit? Why would you value your nostalgia over someone elses actual childhood?

I think it’s perfectly okay to really want to catch one foul ball. If you’ve never caught one before, it is a great feeling. Once you’ve caught one, then it would be good manners to give any others you catch to a kid nearby.

And as I told my daughter before taking her to see Taylor Swift, “No we are NOT going to make a poster to tell her you love her. Do YOU want to be sitting behind someone who is holding up a poster???”

Fuck that mother from the baseball game. I mean, someone other than her dickless text-shaming husband. How does that absentee sack of shit not appreciate the incomparable joy that comes with catching a foul ball, no matter your age?

So did Funbag get demoted/promoted to Adequate Man?

Actually, the best way to turn a normal teenager who sometimes smokes weed into a criminal is putting them in jail. Your education gets disrupted, you have troubles finding a job with your record after and you meet lots of real criminals in jail. Jail basically is crime school.

Mr. Manager

I’m sorry.

Hmmmm. Who is the troll, though?

Yes. I’m quite aware of the name of OP. Which is why I actually went and examined the last 20-30 posts in their comment history before I responded to you... something you don’t seem to have done, since you’ve dismissed them out of hand (in all likelihood because you didn’t like their critique of this piece.) And you…

I believe I can answer your questions, at least if it were to happen in my state (Washington). If the girls or someone else disclosed abuse to a doctor, that person is a mandatory reporter and would call Child Protective Services and/or 911. That would trigger a police investigation, possible prosecution at the…

I admire you for the attempt!

That is no doubt the dumbest stadium in sports. “Let’s make left field 300 feet and we’ll make center like 500 and put a flag pole in the way and a hill yeah let’s add a hill. Sports really need to be played on hills more often.”

The slogans are shitty, but UA makes some pretty damn comfortable t-shirts

2005 wants its hot take back.

Yes, I can't believe anyone would take a multimillion dollar company seriously. Just over 3 billion for 2014 U.S. Dollars in sales. Yup. Can't believe anyone would take them seriously.

Also

“I’ve been asking her out for years and back then she told me she wouldn’t go out with me til she hit the 5 year mark. So I kept count and here we are! I made her keep her promise!”

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.