A good friend of mine was tasked—by dint of him being the lowest ranking guy (a Major at the time) standing around not looking busy enough when our Colonel was looking for a babysitter—with escorting a visiting General Officer and his aide around for Starbucks runs and lunch. This guy was a three-star general, which…

I am equal parts amused, and horrified by this. Well done!

I think our next behind closed ovens should feature commenters not getting super obvious jokes.

Kids in the hall ftw! Thanks, I’m busting up, hadn’t thought about them for a minute now.

EXCELLENT

Obligatory.

I hate myself and am ashamed for laughing about this.

Well of course! They had a fantastic season that year! Many of Ralph Lauren...’Ugo Boss...

Tennessee BOURBON. Get it right.

Not food related but, my sister - also old enough to know better- saw a homeless man on the side of the road when we were down in Florida and said to the car “we should tell [name of our aunt and uncle who lived in the area] about him.” “Why?” my mother replied. “Because they can start bringing [the names of their…

At the grocery store I used to work in we had the opposite of that. There was this really sweet old lady who would come in all dressed up, and buy her groceries. Then when she was done she would hand whoever was working the register a quarter as a tip, so that we could take ourselves and some friends out for a soda.

Yes! My spouse and I (not Korean) went out with another couple (not Korean) to a Korean BBQ place where we were the only people who weren’t Korean. We let our server know it was our first time and we were kind of out of our element. The staff were so kind about helping us order and explaining what everything was. They…

You won’t be so thrilled when they have a dog kissing a tree on Kiss Cam.

We do steamed milk and Torani chocolate sauce at my shop (basically a mocha minus the espresso) and it is GOOD. We always get compliments on it...water is for fools.

I assume because it adds a bit of a humorous setup to the “but we wanted the tour of the factory!” line. Turns it into a punchline, making it a nicer story than just “look how dumb these idiots were” :)

The international breakfast is a half-waffle

Once, an 8-top of Christians left one of those “Here’s a Tip for You!” pamphlets on my table, in lieu of a cash tip. I was sort of used to this, so I didn’t remark much, just tossed it into the bus tub with the rest of the debris, and a glower.