Or, you just don’t give a shit and dress in what makes you feel comfortable. You’re a grown man and want to wear cut off Daisy Duke jorts? Fuckin go for it, you beautiful monster. Don’t like that you can see the goods swaying in my sweatpants, don’t look, or do and we’ll get weird with it. The only rule there should…

"How could you let that guy in the building?" - Assistant Manager, Red Lobster

I recommend that any person who does analysis or predictions in the media (politics, sports, Hollywood rumors, whatever) should have a permanent tally of what they got right or wrong. This should be displayed by their name any time they make an appearance or are referenced. Once they fall below 50%, they are labeled…

They call me Ginger

He has to watch the game from his yacht instead of the luxury owner's box in the stadium.

Jesus H. Christ it was a joke.

Counterpoint: Those sheep are pretty herded.

If Con Air has taught us anything it's that the answer is "No".

For you, my friends.

Perfect Strangers. Wait for the STAAAANDING TAAAAAAL bit. But my personal favorite was easily Cheers.

Last time I was drunk was Thanksgiving 2004 when I was thrown out of Bally's in Vegas. Now it's just sobriety, clean living, mountains of weed and thousands of pills for me, thank you very much.

Pictured: Hoboken mayoral candidate, Dawn Zimmer.

You can go ahead and check your indignation at the door everybody. I have been stuffing socks full of wads for years and the NCAA has never investigated me.

I wish people would post videos where some kid is just about to dunk at the end of one of these chains, and then some adult comes outta fuckin nowhere and blocks it and sends the ball over the fence and the kids eyes tear up. That would be hilarious.

It's all fun and games until there's another Ice Town disaster.

Reading tweets like this helps me realize why Two and a Half Men was on the air so long.

I'd also like to toss "The Sarlac Pit" in for consideration