Easily replaces Durant as the Warriors most offensive offseason addition.

no time 2 sex

Justin Verlander can’t be bothered to play, as he’s used to getting hit in the face by large jugs on a nightly basis.

That’s one hot taek on that take. Replays can be executed from the booth by some slob on the couch with a TiVo. No reason that it has to take 5 minutes to review a catch - have some guy watch it and text the answer to the refs/umpires on the field. Done in the time it takes an umpire to eject Lou Piniella.

I did some digging and found some of the interview transcript - here it is:

“I didn’t put it in front of winning, but I think we all have things that we have to do. There has to be a line somewhere, and that’s what ended up happening.”

I keep getting emails about extensions. They always go to my junk mail, which I guess kinda makes sense, since it’s regarding my “junk.” But you’d think they’d go to the “Penis” folder I created. Why isn't my Gmail filter working? Wait, what were we talking about?

You’d think the mayor would appreciate somebody who didn’t dwell on Rio’s problems.

They’ve got a death lineup. Possession dies with Melo. Possession dies with Rose. Noah’s knee dies. Porzingis’ career dies. Fans are dead inside. Lot of death all around.

He probably should avoid talking about breaking anything down.

7 weeks till the season starts and Jay’s out here fucking around. God damnit.

NO! Agree, they should give him a prize for this:

I get this isn’t a glamorous job, but is it really necessary to shit on this guy for working?

Our collective future of Lax Bros is indeed scary.

I’m not going to say relying on Kazmir to perform under pressure is a bad idea but every team he’s played for might

“I’ve been there, man.”

I feel bad; the whole thing must really stink for him.

Just imagine how good he’s going to feel when he finally takes that human-skin suit off and lets his dorsal venom sac breathe.