It think the “fits our system” bit is rich as hell. How many NFL teams have an offensive system worth keeping over the available talent? The Pats and maybe the Chiefs? I mean, thank god the Texans didn’t risk changing their super efficient offensive system to improve over Tom Savage.

Mattress Mack has always been the hero Houston needs

Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and ye shall receive”

Yeah, but who would win if it was MMA rules huh?

Now I have a valid reason not to do sQUATS on leg day.

Aaron looks like he was using the dildo in his head shot. It seems big.

I must correct Jane Lee; the correct plural is Boogs Powell.

Step 1: Build terraforming robots
Step 2: ????
Step 3: Profit!

As editor in chief of Splinter, I must state that Splinter does not endorse Hamilton Nolan’s views about the eclipse. I do, however, support him emotionally.

Yes, I just checked to see if they play the Bears this year.

Ironically, Breitbart is blocked at my work because it isn’t on our whitelist.

“Good job out there, Chemosabe.”

kudos on the cups and them brats, but man, that’s a rough 29.

Bad memory, that was the last item,

Yeah except they have to live in NYC to work there, so rent and cost-of-living is insane. Don’t compare to national averages.

I think it still deserves scorn (some more context, like what she made and what she asked for, her duties, etc. would be nice, but I doubt we’ll get that info). Being an asshole engineer doesn’t mean it’s all forgiven when he treats people like an asshole. It just means we know why he’s acting like an asshole

Two words: Warren Buffet.

Actually the worst kind are lawyers who no longer practice and still feel qualified to provide drive-by legal opinions on very complex subjects like aviation law.

What pisses me off most about jagoffs like this guy...