Hassan “Chloroform” Saada is a master at knocking people out.

They must have left it right next to the key to success.

Just another blonde playing hard to get.

-Vice President of Ultimate Frisbee

When reached for comment via telephone, Romo tried to place the reporter on hold, but accidentally hung up on him..

One in the pink, one in the sink?

I remember R Jay Soward’s cousin

-Lawrence Phillips from the grave

He only likes to pee at Wimbeldon, where the grass is soft on his neck....

The Rice family will not tolerate Rumeal Robinson stealing the headlines once again.

There IS a town in PA named Jim Thorpe.....maybe they are planning to relocate there.

“Dibs”

-Jerry Jones

It’s nice to see Lacy picking up right where he left off last season by not gaining anything.

We’ll always have Rufus.

Kevin Johnson: “I should have gotten my own server”

One was drafted in the first round of the NFL, by the Cowboys nonetheless. One was a nobody.
Apples to oranges

I guess because the report states that Witnesses 1, 2, 3, and 4 stated that they did not observe an assault? And there’s evidence the bruising is from a bar fight?

Steelers Exec: “Hi’ve known about it for weeks”

Bell is learning the hard way that when you put on that Pittsburgh Steelers uniform, they expect you to bee where you’re supposed to bee.

Hopefully Rocky’s terrible kid anyway....