I didn't say you could afford a horse. I said you would prefer one, "bruh".

Hey, just because you can't afford the finer things, doesn't mean you need to wear a frown. Keep your chin up!

That sounds like an issue you should address with your doctor.

Perhaps, you'd prefer a horse and carriage.

Heated seats are a great feature for quickly warming up the occupants. Perhaps, you don't like comfort? Did you remove the heater and AC from your entire car?

So much butt-hurt. Was that your mom driving that car?

Andy Reid just called. He wants his fire-engine-red shirt back.

They need to add one of these signs.

Johnson & Johnson built my Q-Tips, at least according to the box in my medicine cabinet. But I don't hear them opening their shitty traps about nothing. What, pretty soon Shampoo is going to get started on some kind of useless tirade.

It's down to the wire, but that may very well be the best snark from 2014. Well done.

They should have penned it: BeastEcho

...and that whole thing is just the motor for the windshield wipers.

Ah, so tasty. Just when you thought that the Redskins or Jets were going to take over as shittiest team in the NFL, the Raiders look ready to hold on to that title well into the next couple decades.

Well, they could have shaved a few feet off the length. It's got dozens more to spare.

Holy shit. What is it with BMW and moving glass panels? A relative had (had, being the operative word) a 2000 X5, and those windows would stop cranking if you simply looked through them. I really think that you're exaggerating about the potato chip gears, however. There's NO way the gears are that strong.

Hell, the Cubs might even make it into the playoffs with those photos in their clubhouse.

Legally, they have to change the name to: "Mini"

Edit: Feels like the new Camaro is going to crush it as a rental car because Chevy fucks up.

He meant strides towards the U-haul trucks.

No shit, right?