When Ozzy tweeted this I thought they might have a chance.

Even Boston fans hate Boston fans.  

“Rock journalism: People who can’t write, doing interviews with people who can’t think, in order to prepare articles for people who can’t read.”

I’ll take the overly critical music critic wankery over the “Nothing is ever bad, this music helped me get through not getting invited to Senior Prom” navel gazey thinkpiece bullshit that replaced it.

Now I’m envisioning a scenario where a fun joker tries to mess with everyone by using “Allahu Ackbar” as the code words to yell out.

See here’s the problem with the last meal scenario.

Bike riders are easily the worst. Fuck those clowns n their Lance Armstrong cosplay outfits all bombing down the rail trail at a whopping 15 mph like they’re training for the Tour so they can go to the craft brewery later and sit around in their too-tight shorts trading Strava readings while complaining that the IPA…

he is a small, angry Trumper.  No way he’s even allowed to look at her old Playboy pics

To be fair, if there was morphine there it’s entirely possible Ozzy Osbourne WAS there.

His father was an airline pilot.

Pretty sure this is actually a list of Bristol Palin’s exes.

Stop trying to make slightly more gritty Michael McDonald a thing.

I take a healthy dose of fiber supplement daily. Cup of coffee and a tall glass of water first thing, and 99% of the time I can have a complete and satisfying purge on my own throne before I leave the house.

I really enjoy the idea of anyone getting worked up over either guy’s catalogue. 

The guy who thinks you stop jerking off at 50 is like 18 max right? Man, what a stupid question.

Heaven:

Awww, you’re pretty articulate for an 8 year old!

I’m convinced they do these things just to fuck with the rest of us. When you’re retired and on a fixed income, you have to find cheap entertainment any way you can.

The best thing about watching all of your sports on illegal streams—which I definitely do not do and don’t know why anyone would suggest otherwise!—is that nine times out of ten the commercials are just blanked out because the streams are from overseas markets or whatever (or, even better, you get delightfully weird fo…

Old guys who hang out naked in gym locker rooms for hours every day are the worst. Just get dressed and get the hell out of there! You are in the way and some people actually have things to do and don't want to spend extra time in the most disgusting place imaginable.