Time to beat off in the ol’ Man U or Arsenal scarf

Cut Joyce a break. This is, like, his first mistake out there.

Whatever the legal standing, it’s morally reprehensible. As was outting a gay man, no matter how big of a jerk he is.

We can use the anthem like a quality control survey.

Wait, did you really not know that rule?

The NFL? Disingenuous?! HOW DARE YOU!

I’m reasonably certain he also owns a hotel

Buying in Wrigleyville is your own damn fault. This is asinine.

how does a mug shot confirm racist stereotypes? That’s an amazing jump in logic

Every time I hear him speak I want to administer a Voight-Kampff test.

Nobody expects the Spanish friend tradition.

I feel the same way about overly gigantic tie knots.

Also, they’re beads.

Be careful of Philadelphia people!

Hillary Clinton -> Concussion -> Concussion the movie -> Will Smith -> Independence Day -> Aliens blow up the White House.

Yes.

I thought this was a movie about how to drive a getaway car

I’ve never been more excited to be wrong.

First. Always..