Buying in Wrigleyville is your own damn fault. This is asinine.

how does a mug shot confirm racist stereotypes? That’s an amazing jump in logic

Every time I hear him speak I want to administer a Voight-Kampff test.

Nobody expects the Spanish friend tradition.

I feel the same way about overly gigantic tie knots.

Also, they’re beads.

Be careful of Philadelphia people!

Hillary Clinton -> Concussion -> Concussion the movie -> Will Smith -> Independence Day -> Aliens blow up the White House.

Yes.

I thought this was a movie about how to drive a getaway car

I’ve never been more excited to be wrong.

First. Always..

If Jezebel gets their commenter amalgamation picture posted here. I want a late picture of John Belushi’s corpse posted there now.

Sports moments like those kill me. When the pretense of aggression is dropped and it’s just a game again; god, that is so much fun.

Wait a minute, fans in Philadelphia can get EJECTED?? I’m pretty sure I watched someone murder a guy at the Linc last year and the ushers just told him to tone it down a bit.

We can always expect our team to find a way to lose, can’t we?

Yeah, how about, please don’t do that, ever. The rest of us have to share the road with you.

If other managers are blackjack players trying to grind out a few hundred bucks over the course of a marathon session, Maddon’s the guy who’s outdoing them at that and always manages to hit on 17 just when he’s thrown down $100.

It’s in the media village, so they clearly did their research and discovered zero is the number of condoms most reporters will need.