Get the WWE to set up the intros and debate, loud music, light shows, pyrotechnics, Michael Buffer, etc... Quick rules reminder then the ref starts rapid fire questions and timer. Say a verifiable lie and any candidate can gut punch you, someone goes over their time the next up must whack them with a folding chair, go…

You definitely can’t say that the murder of his wife led Polanksi to rape a child.

Every American has been that light or lighter! Literally every single one of us.

Yeah, but what about Tom Cruise?

It’s just you.

What color was her skin? Asking for a racist.

Fatality

Nah. Fuck Trump, and fuck you for telling me that I should somehow feel bad about trashing that embarrassing piece of shit.

Space Jam 2

Okay I've read this book, and I would not have opened the doors because the Langoliers will get you.

I prefer a personal relationship with line spacing, thanks. 

Is this satire?

Flight Attendant: And something to drink sir?

They made Jared look out a window. 

Why do I feel like his State Farm agent really is Chris Paul’s closest friend?

That horse knew what it was doing. It knew EXACTLY what it was doing. Trust me, I'm a monkey.

Awesome facial hair bros

Word?