“Garbage books” and the leftovers reference / threat from the judge were two of the funniest lines this show has ever given us 

Perfect, just perfect 

Tori just picked a whole bouquet of oopsie-daisies 

Jawsome!!

How have I never seen this?! Just saved that gif for future use, although I have no idea when it’ll be appropriate

Baby, we got a stew goin’

How the fuck is that post un-greyed? 

Looks like Mitch wasn’t able to pull himself back into his shell fast enough:

The light reflecting off his giant head makes it look like his literal devil horns are starting to come in, seems about right 

Broncos fans must really be drinking the Kool-Aid Kool-Aid, since it was referenced in three straight letters

Bahh god! Is that Tim Ryan’s music?!

If we weren’t living in an actual post-satire hellscape, I would have been 100% sure that segment was an onion post on CNN trying to act “balanced”

As ...not great... as Zack Snyder turned out to be, the opening scene in Dawn of the Dead is still arguably my favorite single moment in a horror movie I saw in the theater.

Flawless 

Hook that sound (and the echos!!) directly into my veins 

“Ready Player One director”

I genuinely wonder what it must feel like to have no shame.

Oh, I didn’t mean that an average person wouldnt think twice about jumping 30 feet (I would) or that someone in that situation would totally consider jumping, I just meant, if the person from the quote was being literal, then how did they test that? An ice agent looking off a 3rd floor balcony or some poor asylum…

What jewelry will Martha be wearing?!