That sounds like a nightmare.

Here’s my secret for getting free wifi on a plane so I can do work: 1) Have a drink, 2) Browse the streaming movies so I can see if anything is interesting enough to watch rather than doing work, 3) Have another drink, 4) Now that I’m two drinks in, it would be irresponsible to do work, 5) Watch a streaming movie, 6)…

I’m with you except for a couple things. Namely: They were going to make the snake radioactive and then have the radioactive rattlesnake bite them. Then they would become Snakeman and Snakelady, superhero defenders of justice. Then they would go protect the country by thwarting evildoers and destroying threats to…

Not included because, Montessori School: Vaccinations

Free ground beef? I like to eat stuff that doesn’t sound like it’ll kill me. I’m going to head over to my local Discount Sushi place and ponder whether this seems like a good deal.

Free ground beef? I like to eat stuff that doesn’t sound like it’ll kill me. I’m going to head over to my local…

I completely agree. That’s why I am proposing what I think is the only solution that will work: Expel the South. Kick ‘em all out. Everything east of and including Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas = gone. Once these “taker” states are gone, we could do something about healthcare, gun control, climate change, education, etc.,…

Reverse: When we bought our Volvo and did the overseas delivery, they talked a lot about Volvo’s obsession with safety. Among the things they mentioned was that Volvo’s guy designed and patented the three-point seatbelt. And then gave the patent away. Then, everyone could use it to save lives. Of course, they could…

I call it “Cosbyseed” oil.

He’d probably take it. The NRA could sure use the money. Bargain with the devil, but still worth it. 

This is a brutal takedown:

I think it’s Latvian, though the closest english translation is “moist.”

Humans are causing the planet to warm, sure, but my question is to what percentage? 1%, 25%, 80%, 100%? That’s where every scientist seems to have differing opinions.

I had forgotten that. Good job on remembering the Alamo... scene.

Marianne, here is your first lesson. To say “I need to learn Spanish by tomorrow night at 9,” you would say: “Yo necesito aprendar el español antes de la mañana porque el poder de la Luna viene para llenar todos con mucho amor, un amor mas profundo, y los vibraciones de Neptune vienen pronto... algo, algo, mañana a…

I always store my oily rags in a pile of kindling, underneath my stacked and organized firewood. I’ve got a few daisy-chained power strips running space heaters in there to keep everything nice and warm, too.

So what you are saying is we should put insurance companies in a psychiatric facility? Sounds goods. They will even have the insurance to pay for it!

And unfortunately, per the US Supreme Court, it’s all shit, we’re all shit, hope we like shit.

This is further evidence to me that the only solution for this country’s problems is to expel the south. Everything east of Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas — including those states — gone. They can form their own libertarian utopia (which will quickly fail when that sweet, sweet democrat money from California, NY,…

You’ll have to wait longer than 20 years. More like 40 years. Then you could roll up to what will probably be called OMG-Wood or LMAO-Wood or something, and people would strut around in their retro-style skinny jeans getting all excited.

Bulkhead is like the hot chick that gives you the clap. Looks great initially, but you regret it for a long time. With nowhere to put your feet, the extra knee room is irrelevant - my legs can only go as far as my toes can reach.