I wonder how long you would have lasted if you wrote in the book: “Bob 1:45pm — talked about abortion; Susie 2:32pm — talked about abortion; Jose 4:19pm — talked about abortion; Bob 4:21pm (different Bob) — talked about abortion; Bob 4:29pm (a third Bob, really) — talked about abortion...”

The TP roll is like if you had a 10' long birthday cake shaped like a giant crap, and there was a pube on one of the candles. You’d be like “whoa, look at that giant crap cake... wait, is that a pube?!?!? WTF?”

I’ve never seen this meme before. Aside from all the other puzzling aspects of it, WTF is with the TP roll?

Apparently thoughts and prayers doesn’t work for little league brawls either. Who knew?

Preach! If not for the name, we might never have heard of the results. Now, having heard of the results, the climate change models will improve and possibly, just possibly, we’ll be able to figure something out to avoid our inexorable doom.

Clearly, the only way for Canada to address the fact that this very, very, very rare incident occurred is to legalize all guns all the time. As we’ve repeatedly learned in America, more guns is more gooder and means more and more and moar deader!

Death to square wheel wells!

Making sure the bag is secure before the game seems like something that should be pretty... basic.

42 USC 1983.

Oh, Lily Allen is a true gem. Not everything is political, but this is the tip of a very excellent iceberg.

#paysfullpriceforexpiredmeat

And let’s not overlook the fact that “weather” is not synonymous with “climate.”

Can confirm the accuracy of this article. Was in Oregon last year for some ocean time. Guy in front of me at the rental car counter got upgraded from an Altima to an Infinity of some sort. Yours truly was handed the keys to an Altima. I asked if they had anything else and they said, with a bit of a sneer, “Not unless…

Aggressive driving is bad. So rather than brake checking the asshole who was tailgating you to move over (so he could tailgate the next care in the line of 20 cars going the same speed in the left lane), may I suggest passive-aggressive driving: When it’s clear for you to move to the right lane, put on your signal and…

I’m sure they’ll be restrained and understated.

Careful, you don’t want to start a graphite.

We should have a new rule: Every time a politician reverses him or herself, they have to add another pin to their lapels.

I don’t think safety standards explains it. If a Honda Fit can pass safety standards, so can a truck smaller than a Sherman tank.

I saw one a couple weeks ago and had to look for a minute to see that it actually is somewhat, a tiny bit, smaller than an F150. It’s still too huge.

That explains what’s wrong with Florida.