I have tattoos on my right index finger and left ring finger. They’ve never been touched up and still look great. Of course I put hand lotion with sunblock on them constantly.

Aww, so sorry. Tuxedo kitties are the bestest.

I’m giving this a go. I’m done with VS because almost all of theirs have those removable straps in the back, which tend to remove themselves at inopportune times, plus the last one I had ripped at the seam in less than a month.

I’m giving this a go. I’m done with VS because almost all of theirs have those removable straps in the back, which…

I’ll be 54 in August, and have decided to become completely eccentric. I’ve been shopping for a jaunty caftan, to no avail. Perhaps someone can recommend a source for procuring one. And tomato sandwiches are the BOMB. Best accompanied by a side of cottage cheese with Lawry’s Seasoned Salt.

I have a cat hole in my guest bathroom (where the litter box and food are). Screw the guests.

I shit in a bag once when our toilet was broken and I was too lazy to drive to the ghetto gas station down the street. Ain’t no thang.

Anyone who thinks that any sort of Mastiff is just born a big sweet slobbery dog is nuts. Our Bullmastiff is a rescue, was never properly trained or socialized, and would just as soon eat someone’s face off. The only reason he’s not dead is that Mr. Glock and I are experienced in handling a dog like him, and convinced…

I disagree. My hobby is competitive pistol shooting, I own a plethora of guns, and not once have I ever even considered murdering someone.

Is anyone surprised? Anyone? Really? My husband was a house director for the SAE chapter at the university that I work at, and his common term for them was “a bunch of booger eating overprivileged morons.”

When a guy I used to date was married to his 2nd ex-wife, she started wanting some babies. He didn’t want any so he went and got clipped without telling her. And believe me, that is one of the NICER stories about him in regards to his respect for women.

Is that on purpose, or was there a terrible accident like when Penny was cutting Sheldon’s hair on BBT??

I was dead for a minute, I can tell you what it’s like. Nothing, nada, no bright light, no dead relatives, nothing. To this day, I feel like I got ripped off.

I got my mom a pit bull coloring book. She said she wanted it, and I don’t know if she was kidding or not, but that’s what she’s getting. I hope she has crayons because I ain’t springing for those.

Although I would never make light of anyone else’s illness, my grandmother died from Alzheimer’s, and there were some moments that she said something so outrageous that you just had to laugh. She went through a spell where she told everyone that she’d been shot in the head in Las Vegas by the mafia...

I am married to a man. I also have very short platinum blonde hair, full sleeve tattoos on both arms, and I frequently wear tactical pants to work (they’re comfortable). If someone did this to me, I fear I would not act nearly so politely as this lady did.

The horse died in a flash flood.

He’s a really good team roper, I know that because I used to show horses. That’s all I got...

I’m more concerned that Madonna doesn’t know the difference between their and there...

Humans are not meant to drink the milk of other animals. It is a disgusting practice.

That’s what I had too! God it was good!!